September 23rd, 2004

Why are you exiting me?

What are you escaping me?
Exiting the room without leaving the couch
Why do I chase you down the rabbit hole to a wonderland of trouble and fears?

Why are you existing on me? And why am I angry about this?
The one who loved me the most fed me all the ďIím sorryĒ, ďitís overĒ and ďnever againĒ.

Iím better on my best days. Iím a book of know hows.
Iím an arrogant moron breaking the mood, dragging regrets
like a mule drags a plow.

I donít really like myself that much.
What youíve seen before has left. I give away the goods for worse.
I kick the dirt, punch the wall and curse.
I only believe in halfÖ of the people that kiss my ass.
The beautiful and young, the old are wise.
I put on a happy face and then break everything in you,
cause I was broken and never shown how to make it level ground.

Re-conceive the preconceived notion
Painting the canvas, weapons in a blood red ocean
If you want to feel loved go somewhere else
Donít come in my house hating yourself

Iím losing the journey. Iím selling product.
Iím more focused than you, so give me the money.

Iíve forgotten how to be part of a town.
Iím in and then out, turned around.
Weíre selling a dream thatís been dreamt, to fill pockets deeper in debt.
And Iím caught on humilityís fence

I want to hold you near and hold you far
And forget you ever were
It hurts to love truly and deeply, so shall I fear no pain

Itís going to take so much of me to love you right.